In this week’s edition of the Creative Introvert Podcast I’ll be tackling the age old question…
How to say ‘NO’ without feeling like a terrible human!
I wish I could remember what it was like to be that awkward toddler who loved to say NO to just about anything. Even the stuff I wanted.
For a mixture of reasons, simply saying ‘NO’ – both to ourselves and to others – is something that gets a lot more difficult when we’re older.
It’s in our DNA to want to feel safe, to be loved and accepted. In order to get this, many of us learn that we need to prioritise someone elses needs and feelings, before our own. while this may work for a while; and we may feel there’s less conflict – our inner conflict is actually growing.
Saying no makes us feel guilty – we wouldn’t want to upset anyone – but on the flipside we feel resentful when we yes, because we’re being forced to do something against our will. Basically: we’re damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
Now, I’m not saying we all need to start thinking only of ourselves and going around acting like narcisstic a-holes, but there is a tricky balance between being a good friend/partner/colleague etc and being a doormat.
- My story of penduluming from YESCAT to NOCAT at uni
- The detrimental effects of not saying no/people pleasing
- How saying yes too much can lead to resentment, stress and other side effects
- WHY we say yes to things we don’t want to do
- Why saying NO can be so hard – even to ourselves
- Do introverts find it hardest to say NO?
- When to say yes vs when to say NO
- What to look out for (opportunities vs timesuckers)
- Is it OK to piss people off?
- What are boundaries + how to set ’em
- What’s the right way to say no?
- The League of Creative Introverts
- How to Balance Your Energy as an Introvert
- What are values?
- How to pick your ONE thing
- Listening to your intuition
- Derek Sivers (I couldn’t find the story I mentioned, but Jess has a summary of it here + an awesome infographic to help you make YES/NO decisions)
You can leave a rating and review on iTunes (here’s how to do that) and I will bounce around like a Spring lamb (or sob into my pillow depending on what you write.)